turquoise and silver

I got a bit overconfident and attempted a 6 miles hike thru a desert that looked much like parts of new mexico, arizona or the moon. The majority of algae low tide exposed rocks, glistening salt deposits, warm tan beach sand with no foot prints, the sound of the gentle summer ocean ebb and flow, and I got to see some net fishing in action with two nets single throws taking in 30 fish! what a way to start off the memorial weekend lu'au. silver shimmering in the turquoise and one quick cast... trapped up in the net. I wanted to help them untangle the fish but those gorgeous silver streaks taking their last breaths was too much for this vegetarian and I had to keep on walking.

the creative process has begun

YES! and the ocean was gorgeous tonight, powerful silver in the overcast sky. no other islands visible all day. none. here and west side. they are a comfort to see, I missed them today. the water was weird all moving around sorta creepy... current was strong. taking the water way out to ocean. major wind waves blowing out out out out there... way out there,,,, LATER the wind was like COLD hurricane wind. It was so exciting that I drove to the top of the west side volcano and got out of the car in the moon light with the ocean below in the whipping almost desert like spring wind... it was a small dose of moon lit wind madness, a little moon glow wind seeped into my soul. good medicine. I had to stand in it and feel it. guess I am acclimated cuz it was COLD, but the car said 71 degrees! got back to the southside, warm and still! weird. guess it was what the spirits ordered for me tonight.

white caps

out my window the ocean is indigo blue as the sun sets pink clouds are forming soon a pale yellow sky. the other islands canyons are loosing definition by shadows overtaking the contour and light of the terrain. out there the waves crest as they come through the channel. rolling, surfacing, folding upon themselves, repeating until finally they hit shore after 2000 plus miles. How many miles have I done until finally I stop and rest upon the shore. I am on the shore from this ocean of discontent, the cycle of this relentless restlessness. The spirits are good here, content, even happy. They are not restless. I know I need to relenquish all control and let the paint fly... let the images I make speak to me, for me.

turquoisealoha

Yesterday I was at the beach all day 10AM-5PM. I went out at low tide, explored a few tidepools had fun with the kids etc. Then the tide came in rushing in with big gentle rocking waves. The water so warm it was like a jacuzzi. I was was surrounded in pure turquoise water. I swam and floated for about 5 hours as the water got higher and higher. All I thought all day was how lucky I was to be right there enjoying that turquoise, and that I should do this every single day, to fill my soul with joy. Nature is my healer, my comfort, my inspiration! its okay if thats my life for now, enjoy and accept the comfort and love of what turquoise and the ocean have to offer me. soak it up let it seep into my bones and soul and let it sustain me!!!!!!  this is the thought I leave you with and myself with to hold on to this comfort happy thought!

when people do not engage thy brain only thy mouth

Can one focus inward and outward? Can you do both without weakening the other?

contemporary art museum on oahu

I was currently on Oahu, for an MRI... I saw an art exhibition of Fay Ku (New York) who greatly inspired me and opened this current block of my psyche and creativity. She explores the dualities of the human condition as balancing counterparts. Her art comes straight from her experiences and how her soul draws on it. A few of her works portrayed such pain I was drawn to it, as well as her powerful use of materials. I realize, with the help from both Fay Ku's art and my dear friend/yoga instructor/artist Ann back in the desert, I was focusing on my outer reality, here on this island of paradise, tropical breeze and surrounded in the comfort of turquoise... I was trying to paint paradise, happy things not be negative, everyone constantly telling me " happy thoughts positive thinking, hooray visualization you need" that I was not looking at my own inter-reality. I kept going out, fighting going in. I didn't want to go to ugly and bad. We are not acculturated to explore this inner-reality. It is the artist, the yogi, the spirit who remind us and acknowledge to turn inward. this is nothing new, yet I didn't see this for all these months in pain... am surprised how I did not connect with this on my own. this new place has drawn me outward, who wants to think about pain here... I am reminded I am in need to draw more in as much, even more, then I am drawn out. Now I can hope to create again, yes I can and will and it's okay if it is ugly and painful, no one needs to look at it and if people don't to see my pain its okay. It is who I am now even here in paradise. Mahalo Fay, Mahalo Ann. aloha...hozho.